From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I love you.
Bad choice
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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