I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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