i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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