laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
So gin and wine won't be happening again
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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