Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
