His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
