I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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