youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
