If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
