can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
