Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
