Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
