Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
