bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
