About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
