ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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