i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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