is your mom at the bar?
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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