shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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