I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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