i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
