and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
