D3 body, D1 cock
I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
