I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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