My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
