just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Randomize
