I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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