What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
