Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
