quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
