She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
