apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I don't deserve a penis
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
