dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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