If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
