i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
