how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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