i don't plan on having that self control this summer
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He better not be in your backpack
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Your penis caused this!
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
