He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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