So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
