Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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