shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
