She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
