he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
