used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
