The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
