How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
