Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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