I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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