Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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