It's like God shit irony all over that family
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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