Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
