at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
