But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
