I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Farmville is her only friend.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Randomize
